Wedding Hindsight...

 They say 20/20 and hindsight is such a wonderful thing and it is. When you realise what is happening and when it is due to happen then sometimes you can prevent it. I have been going to a lot of weddings in the past 5 years since mine and I always look at theirs. I think to myself they look at so much ease. I wonder if I did at my wedding. 

I still can't believe sometimes that this year is going to be 5 years since I got hitched. Let me tell you that road hasn't been smooth sailing at all, I feel at times their have been more bumps than anything. But one thing I think that I always think about is my actually wedding and reception day. I look at weddings now and honestly mine wouldn't even come in the top majority of how these weddings are done. They are all over the top and designer glam. Pre wedding shoots are made in to mini punjabi movies. Proposal's are literally becoming out of this world its insane. But I always think to myself what would I have done differently if I could go back to that time. 

1. I always wanted to sit with my parents and inlaws on a table. So I did do that, because I have seen it at English weddings and I think its the cutest concept ever. However with Indian people, its a big NO NO! Unless of course you're having an intimate gathering type of wedding. I always imagined how it would be but that isn't how it played out on the day. I was just better getting a head table for me and my hubby. 

2. Having a siblings/cousins table as I am very close to my family and to be honest that hasn't and won't ever change because I have a ring on my finger. Being married doesn't mean that my family have died and its all about my in laws family. My family will always be my family and my in laws family would just be an extension to that. I shouldve just had a "family table" and then there wouldn't of been any disagreements. 

I think that sometimes the family members and guests forget that the wedding isn't theirs and it is someone else. That it is about the bride and groom, how they want it.  As people attending you should respect that. I feel that some part of our wedding that respect element for us was gone in all the other commotions. 

I also feel like as a bride I should've put my foot down more. I just wanted to keep the peace and I honestly felt that someone else would've put their foot down if I couldn't voice it. I see how some brides act and even daughter in laws act. I always think to myself if I had or if I ever act like that everyone would be ready to put me in my corner. Perhaps I should off  been a bit more firm in the past and even now I should be more firm because those who act like that they get what they want. No one even bats an eyelid at them. 

I should of got cocktails at my wedding. I like to have a drink but that doesn't make me an alcoholic by any means. I should've got signature cocktails in honour of me and my husband. It was something that I always wanted but again I didn't put my foot down. I think at some point even I started to think about the groom's family and others that would be there. 

I always said I wanted a playlist of my favourite songs to be played at my pre wedding party. I had actually forgot to do this, and I think its important to have someone who is in on the planning. Me and my mum had done most of it before my sister came. Then once my sister came the three of us did it. However by that time I was so absorbed in planning that I actually forgot about it. So this is one that I wish I had really done. 

I am sure there are loads of other things that could've gone differently or that I could have remembered to do. It doesn't mean that I didn't enjoy my wedding. Yes it had more drama then a whole season of Eastenders but it was still an enjoyable day. I mean I am hitting the 5 year mark and who would've thought that with the daily drama I can get embroiled in to that I would've made it this far. 

So a tip for all you future brides, if you feel like something is wrong then it defiantly is. Get some one on board to help with the planning even if it is just remembering something small. Put your foot down, it will help you in the long run. Don't ever settle for less and why should you! Lastly, its your day with your new partner, so ignore the bullshit (because that doesn't ever go) and enjoy yourselves!! 

Like I said hindsight is a wonderful thing! 

Bridgerton Season 2

Everyone has seen or heard of Bridgerton on Netflix. It was the most talked about and watched show when season 1 first came out. We all were swooning over the Duke and those fit Bridgerton men. Like everyone else I was loving season 1 and was hooked. I even got my sister hooked, it was the perfect December watch in a lockdown. It was what was needed during those glum times. Bridgerton took us all to another time and era, which we all loved. 

So when I found out that season 2 was coming out like most people I was excited to see how it was made. I was even more excited because it made by Shonda Rhimes who makes Grey's Anatomy and I love that show after binge watching that show last year. So, the expectations were very high for this season. 

There was a lot of conversations around this season, the first was that the Duke wasn't going to be in. The second was the South Asian representation that people were going all crazy over. Then their was the storyline and how it was adapted from the book but also needed to fit the South Asian’s in the show. So I was thinking how is this going to work. I haven't ever read the books because I only found out about Bridgerton as it was on Netflix. But I wanted to see how this season was going to be. 

I am a South Asian and don't get me wrong I think representation is good to show but I don't get the big show of it all. Yes they cast an Indian girl to play the main characters but to be honest I think it would've been better if the the main character was white. People getting so excited because they use a few things to reflect South Asian’s I think was funny. I don't think it was all that to be honest and to be honest I didn't like this season. 

I think I am one of few people who would say that. And it isn't about the sex scenes as in the first season there was many sex scenes but I just feel like this season was lacking so much more. Yes it was lacking in sex scenes and I feel like that could've added something. But there was no real excitement for me. I had no interest to see if the two got together in the end. In the first season every episode had excitement.The connection between the Duke and Daphne was just so obvious and you could see the excitement in both of them. This was flat for me. It had nothing that was really sticking out. 

Even the other storylines of the Feathringtons, Lady Whistledown, the Queen. There was no real jazz of the show. I skipped most of it as I found it really boring to watch and I think I was waiting for something exciting to happen. Even the way that Lady Whisteldown is sussed out by one of the characters that couldve been done better. It was just a mere guessing game. 

I read a couple of articles of peoples thoughts of Bridgerton and some have similar views to me. But one made a point about the second book and that we are missing so much from the book. The sex scenes, the intimacy, like we could've had a much better season. 

Furthermore, I feel like the Duke could of been in it. He would've added a real nice addition to Anthony and how he feels about getting married. As the Duke didn't want to get married at first but then you could see how he changed and how Daphne changed his views on it. Perhaps the Duke being in the show might of made it more interesting because I found it really flat. 

So here is hoping that season 3 will be better then season 2 because I was really disappointed. 

Cousins Reunion

 I bet you're all reading that title and be thinking why would you need a cousins reunion, surely you all talk and see each other. Well an interesting fact is that actually haven't seen all my cousins since my Nan's funeral which was back in 2015 but no one of us really spoke and there was some missing. I think when I was younger was the last time that we had all go together and over that time we got married, had babies and basically just got set up in our own lives. 

Before I get in to the ins and outs of the reunion you all need some backstory of me and my family to actually understand the reunion. So the cousins that I met are all from my mum's side of the family. So here goes with the breakdown of my mum's family. My mum is the youngest of 5 siblings, she has two older brothers and then two older sisters. Her eldest brother has 2 sons, then her second brother has 1 boy and 2 girls, her eldest sister has 2 sons and her other sister had 1 daughter and 1 son. When I was younger her daughter passed away but we always remember her. Then my mum has 2 girls and 1 boy. So in total there is 11 of us cousins. 

So that is the family breakdown of us all and as you can imagine this was a long time coming. When we were younger we use to be at each others houses all the time, Christmas and New Years were always spent together. Then life happened and adults happened, we all just kinda went our separate ways but we finally created a WhatsApp group and booked in a dinner. 

On Saturday afternoon we all ventured to meet in Milton Keynes as that was the location that was picked and met at a restaurant. Everyone came with their families expect for one person that was due to them being unwell. However the rest of us all got together and it was so lovely. At first we didn't know what to expect as it has been a long time since we have all been together and we have all grown up. My husband and one of my cousins partners didn't come either. Well my husband was working but also slightly from my point of view I hadn't seen my cousins in ages and I kinda just wanted to see how it would be with me. Furthermore see how the conversation was flowing and how we would all be. 

It was nice to see everyone and see their families because apart from my nephew that I live with. My two cousins sisters have kids and it was lovely to see them. MY cousin who is the eldest out of us all has kids but his kids are older and to be honest we all saw them grow up they were around when we all use to be really close. It was nice to catch up with everyone and find out what they are up to. 

I feel like the only downfall of having a reunion in a restaurant is that at times we were just stuck in our seats and it was hard to have a conversation with everyone or even long conversations. I feel like when we have the next reunion it should defiantly be at someones house as it would be a more relaxed setting for the kids to run around and the adults to have a good catch up. Also another idea could be for just the adults to go out so we aren't all worrying about the little kiddies and actually be able to converse with each other. 

Check out my socials for the pics from the reunion: 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/navs_nonsense/?hl=en

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/NavsNonsense/

Painful Living

 As I lay here in bed tossing and turning failing to fall asleep. I think to myself you know what I wish my illnesses weren’t chronic and internal that they were physical. That people could actually see the pain I am in day in and day out. I feel like just because I don’t walk with a walking stick my illnesses in peoples eyes are invalid. 

It’s like you don’t realise how much these illnesses affect my day to day life. I’ve had to cancel so many plans with people Becuase of them. My headaches and migraines have been the worst this year compared to any. My legs have been feeling so tight and painful that I just don’t know what to do. I can’t even walk sometimes because they are getting so tight I can’t put weight on them. People see me rushing around and doing everything but that comes at a price. If I walk a bit too quickly in the day by the evening my legs will swell and be so painful I won’t be able to sleep. And to be honest that’s what’s happened today, my head has been aching and then my legs just stopped working basically. I had to force myself upstairs and as I’m in so much pain I can’t sleep. 

I take medication for it all and it helps but sometimes you just get bad days. I feel so sorry for everyone around me because I have to disturb their sleep and wake them up just so that they can massage my legs to get the blood flowing and the pain to ease. Sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn’t. 

It’s so frustrating the impact this has in my daily life but also my mental health. It’s so annoying when I want to go do something but can’t because I know the severity of pain that I am in! 

It’s like yes I’m 29yrs old and I have these illnesses but that’s just my life. I accept it and to be honest I adapt my day to day around it. This week has been a very hard week for my overall. Mentally and physically I feel burnt out. Last week was emotionally challenging as there was some family issues going on that just kept bringing me down. And I look at everything, think to myself how do I keep going? How have I just not given up yet? I don’t know what my body is made out of and no matter how much I push it sometimes it just needs a break! 

So next time you see someone and you think they have an easy life stop and be kind! Because honestly you don’t know what that person is going through! 

Food Intolerances Part 2

Yesterday was my six weeks of being off the foods that I was intolerant too. Yesterday was basically to tell me what I can or can't eat. So she only checks the foods that you are intolerant too and if you can have them slowly or if you have to cut them out completely. 

If you have not already read my previous post then I was intolerant to the following foods: 

• Wheat 
• Cocoa 
• Chilies 
• Caffeine 
• Red Wine 

I had to be strict for six weeks and was it hard. It was harder to give up the cocoa then anything else on that list. Plus cocoa seems to be in everything. I went from eating as usual to being so conscious about what I was eating. Being wheat free was actually the easiest thing out of all them as their is so much accessibility to wheat free products. I find that Tesco actually has the most variety out of all the supermarkets. And let me tell you eating out was ok and places are very accommodating. But however takeaways aren't, its so hard to find a good takeaway that doesn't contain wheat. I have had a McDonald's burger without the bap, dominos pizza gluten free is the best and I have just about found a kebab that doesn't contain wheat. That is literally as far as I have got with it. I am sure that their are other options but I don't really know them. It is gutting that I can't have a KFC or fish from a chippy! But for me its not the end of the well. And to be honest I prefer the wheat free options that I have been eating. 

So like I said I hit my six weeks yesterday and she re did my test. So I am able to eat chilies and have red wine again. I don't really drink red wine so that one doesn't really bother me and to be honest I don't mind not having chilies so have decided I will only eat them when I am out and about at home I like my food chilli free. 

That's what I can eat and yes you guessed it. I can't have wheat at all, my body just can't seem to tolerate it. Nor can I have cocoa and caffeine, I suppose these will be harder to give up in the long term but I knew all these three things didn't suit me as I would always get super ill after having them. So I always tried to avoid eating them but temptation would always get the best of me. Now I know I defiantly can't have them, I will be staying away. 

Overall, I don't need to go for a retest and just have to adapt to eating these things and if I am honest I am happier for it because it means that my stomach isn't going to bloat and I won't have to keep running to the bathroom or violently throwing up. So in the long run its much better to have these things cut out of my diet.

Gangubai Kathiawadi Film Review

Yesterday evening me, my sister and mum ventured to the cinema to watch Gangubhai Kathiawadi which I will just call Gangu for short. Now for many of you may not know the story or even perhaps heard of the film. It is a Bollywood film and the story of Gangu was written in a book called the Mafia Queens of Mumbai. Her story is one that I found very interesting and actually had been researching since I knew that this film was going to be released. Gangu was born Ganga and she fell in love, got married and her husband sold her off to a brothel. In the movie they didn't focus on that and actually focused on the story of Ganga who changed herself in to Gangu. Life dealt her a horrible hand but she took that and made her life the best she could given the situation that she was in. 

I don't want to give any spoilers as it is a movie worth watching. Alia Bhatt's performance was exceptional in this film and literally carried the whole movie as she was the main character. The film showed how a girl who had been dealt with bad cards and how she became a activist for women's rights and girls rights to go out and get an education. She protected all 4000 women who lived in her area from men who tried to abuse them. She made such strong points that just because they are prostitutes then why shouldn't they be protected. They showed young girls getting sold of by their husbands or even being kidnapped and forced in to these situations of prostution. They couldn't even go back to their homes because their families had disowned them. It isn't these young girls fault that life dealt them this horrible hand and forced them to live life that way. 

Watching Gangubhai made a lot of emotions go around in me, first was anger that they were forced these horrible cards of life. To be ripped away from everything they know and their families just not even acknowledging them. The second was hurt that they had to face all this. Without any protection and without any help. They only have each to survive and even that wasn't enough. Thirdly there was laughter that they always so the funniest thing in ever situation. If they didn't laugh at the situation then they would always just be crying. 

In the movie there is also another big name actor who has a small part but a very important part alongside Alia Bhatt. That is Ajay Devgan, he plays a mafia boss who is basically the brother that Gangu never had. The relationship between the two is of a brother and sister there is no contesting that. He is their for her protection even though she learns to protect herself. He is her shadow in the back that is always there for but never comes out. 

Sanjay Leela Bhansali without a doubt has made another hit blockbuster movie. He is a master when he comes to making movies and he has made many movies that I do like. But I have to say this is probably one of my favourite movies of his. The power and cinematic flare that this film has is outstanding. I actually came out of this film speechless because not only did she play the role so well, but the story was just so captivating. I love films that are based on true stories and it has only made me want to go and buy the book! 

For me this movie is a 10/10 and I would tell you to go and watch it! 

Here is the trailer: 

Relationships

Relationships are such a funny concept when you actually think about it. Your born in to a family that you don't really know some say that you actually choose your parents but I don't know if I actually necessarily believe that. I mean come on if I got to choose wouldn't I have chosen to born in to a royal family. You then grow up with these relationships of parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins. They then form in to your family extending and more people getting involved in to the family of sister in laws, brother in laws, nephews and nieces. It doesn't end there either because you then get married and depending on the size of your in laws family then that also becomes part of those relationships. 

Its even crazier for anyone who is part of an Indian family because you class all of your extended family as your first cousins basically so everyone just becomes on par. Then your cousins partners are actually your sister in laws and brother in laws. We give everyone the same status of relationships whether they are your sibling, first cousin or second cousin. When I was in school I use to find it so tough to explain this to all my friends. And that is when I had to start learning about first cousin, second cousins etc. We don't think like that in Indian families so for me that concept was really weird. 

I don't find it weird anymore and to be honest perhaps because I am older and actually understand how all these relationships works in term of how we see it and then how everyone else sees it. It doesn't just end their either because we have family friends who then call aunties and uncles. Because we don't call our relatives aunt or uncle we call them massi (mums sister), pua (dad's sister), Mammi (mums sis in law), mamma (mums brother), Chacha ( dads younger brother), Thaiya (dads older brother). And then their respective partners have a relationship name per how they are related to the individual. 

It is just insane how these relationships just keep extending and I find that since I have been married their is more expectation for me to uphold all these relations on my in laws side. I think as my husband is the eldest in his household and then like of of the eldest out of his cousins then I have the same time as the eldest daughter in law so there is some expectation behind that I am having to follow. At first I used to find it really frustrating have all this responsibility and expectation because I was still trying to find my place in the family but now its so natural. I just give everyone the respect they deserve. And like all families there are some people that will like you and some people that won't but you put a smile on your face and treat them all the same regardless. 

Another point to relationships is that from point of view in my family I am the middle child in my household and then the younger cousin out of all my cousins. I remember growing up the elder ones always made sure it was known they were the older ones. As time has gone on and I have gotten older I started realising the different between listening to them and respecting them. I think no matter what happens you always need to respect your older however you don't need to be pushed around for having an opinion. That motto is kinda what I stick with even now, like I have had many moments where people think that it is okay to perhaps disrespect me or talk down to due to them being "elder". At first I would just take the hit because I was like they are older and don't disrespect them but then I was like I am not here to be disrespected or spoken to rudely so I am going to stand up for myself and now I do just that! 

Rule of thumb... I honestly believe you should put yourself first because no one will look after you like you!!