You get to a stage in your life that all you hear about is engagements, weddings, pregnancy announcements - you get the gist of what I am trying to say. I think if I wasn't married or in a committed relationship then perhaps peoples engagements would bother me.
However I am in a relationship so you can probably guess what my next sentence is. I don't get bothered by pregnancy announcements but they use to really hurt especially when I started going through all this with my periods a few years ago. As you are aware the period issues are still there but I have just had to accept this and that not getting pregnant at the moment isn't on the cards.
To be honest that you kinda just acknowledge and move on. But it is how people treat you, that I feel impacts you more than anything. I think this where you start to notice differences between your family and your partners family. Upbringings and just how people deal with situations that perhaps they don't feel comfortable with.
I don't know if people do this knowingly or unknowingly but still it shouldn't really happen. I will get to the point of what I am trying to say and that is how different you get treated by people who have kids if you don't have one. I probably know more about kids and what they need as someone who doesn't have them compared to people who do have them. And that is because I come from a very fortunate family that any time anyone has had kids it has always been me that they have trusted to look after them. I look after and raise my nephew who literally comes to me sometimes before his own mother. I know what is needed for schools and PTA groups look like. I've done more pick ups and drop offs then I could even count that is because my family have always trusted me to be there go to person. The best part is my nephew and nieces love me so they love it when Auntie is at the school gate!
More recently one of my sister in laws got married on my husband's side and during the wedding I was the go to Auntie to look after the most gorgeous little girl. Not once did my sister in law make me feel incompetent to look after her daughter or didn't trust me. I was actually crying to her when we left because she made me feel so valued in that moment as this little girls aunt. She will never know how much she made me feel seen in that moment. Honestly her, other family members they all do it without thinking but what they don't realise is how much love and respect they give me.
I just think that it's so crazy how people form these groups of kids only parents and push you to side because you don't have one. I think that makes you feel worse because you feel like you're being sidelined for something that isn't your fault or out of your control.
It is not only the little click's of the groups but also the comments of why aren't you having one. Why not go abroad and have IVF? I answer politely but what I really want to say is F*CK YOU and your opinion. No one cares for and nor do I care what you think I should do. It isn't your decision, it is mine. I think it is so funny that my length of marriage determines if I should have a child or not.
I don't know if having kids is in my future or if it is something that we even want anymore as the heartbreak and pain to get there is greater than actually achieving it. However it doesn't determine who I am as a person. Or what my relationship amounts to. I also think it's so funny how people can't accept if you don't want to have kids. I can have a great life with or without them. Having a healthy life is more important than trying to kill myself to bring another life in to this world!
So for you people out there who are in a similar situation to me. Don't worry if you're being sidelined because you don't have a kid(s) just know your enough and your worth is everything! We will carry on with the people that matter in our lives and not the ones that just like to hang out with parents.... (if you know what I mean)!
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