They say 20/20 and hindsight is such a wonderful thing and it is. When you realise what is happening and when it is due to happen then sometimes you can prevent it. I have been going to a lot of weddings in the past 5 years since mine and I always look at theirs. I think to myself they look at so much ease. I wonder if I did at my wedding.
I still can't believe sometimes that this year is going to be 5 years since I got hitched. Let me tell you that road hasn't been smooth sailing at all, I feel at times their have been more bumps than anything. But one thing I think that I always think about is my actually wedding and reception day. I look at weddings now and honestly mine wouldn't even come in the top majority of how these weddings are done. They are all over the top and designer glam. Pre wedding shoots are made in to mini punjabi movies. Proposal's are literally becoming out of this world its insane. But I always think to myself what would I have done differently if I could go back to that time.
1. I always wanted to sit with my parents and inlaws on a table. So I did do that, because I have seen it at English weddings and I think its the cutest concept ever. However with Indian people, its a big NO NO! Unless of course you're having an intimate gathering type of wedding. I always imagined how it would be but that isn't how it played out on the day. I was just better getting a head table for me and my hubby.
2. Having a siblings/cousins table as I am very close to my family and to be honest that hasn't and won't ever change because I have a ring on my finger. Being married doesn't mean that my family have died and its all about my in laws family. My family will always be my family and my in laws family would just be an extension to that. I shouldve just had a "family table" and then there wouldn't of been any disagreements.
I think that sometimes the family members and guests forget that the wedding isn't theirs and it is someone else. That it is about the bride and groom, how they want it. As people attending you should respect that. I feel that some part of our wedding that respect element for us was gone in all the other commotions.
I also feel like as a bride I should've put my foot down more. I just wanted to keep the peace and I honestly felt that someone else would've put their foot down if I couldn't voice it. I see how some brides act and even daughter in laws act. I always think to myself if I had or if I ever act like that everyone would be ready to put me in my corner. Perhaps I should off been a bit more firm in the past and even now I should be more firm because those who act like that they get what they want. No one even bats an eyelid at them.
I should of got cocktails at my wedding. I like to have a drink but that doesn't make me an alcoholic by any means. I should've got signature cocktails in honour of me and my husband. It was something that I always wanted but again I didn't put my foot down. I think at some point even I started to think about the groom's family and others that would be there.
I always said I wanted a playlist of my favourite songs to be played at my pre wedding party. I had actually forgot to do this, and I think its important to have someone who is in on the planning. Me and my mum had done most of it before my sister came. Then once my sister came the three of us did it. However by that time I was so absorbed in planning that I actually forgot about it. So this is one that I wish I had really done.
I am sure there are loads of other things that could've gone differently or that I could have remembered to do. It doesn't mean that I didn't enjoy my wedding. Yes it had more drama then a whole season of Eastenders but it was still an enjoyable day. I mean I am hitting the 5 year mark and who would've thought that with the daily drama I can get embroiled in to that I would've made it this far.
So a tip for all you future brides, if you feel like something is wrong then it defiantly is. Get some one on board to help with the planning even if it is just remembering something small. Put your foot down, it will help you in the long run. Don't ever settle for less and why should you! Lastly, its your day with your new partner, so ignore the bullshit (because that doesn't ever go) and enjoy yourselves!!
Like I said hindsight is a wonderful thing!
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