Rocky Aur Rani Ki Prem Kahanni Review

I watched this movie twice in one month and honestly I have been pondering for a while what to write. I am actually obsessed with this movie hence why I watched it twice. I watched it the day it was relasied in cinema and then a few weeks later. 

Where do I even start? Karan Johar has made such a great comeback of Bollywood films with this movie. It has masala, it has passion, it has over the top dances and outfits. It has everything of a 90's/00's Bollywood movie with a balance of new age themes. I feel like as someone who has grown up watching and obsessing over Bollywood films that this film literally was exactly what was needed!

Karan Johar had selected such a great cast, with Alia Bhatt and Ranveer Singh as the main characters who have the greatest love story. Ranveer Singh Aka Rocky Randhawa is honestly the best character I have seen onscreen for a long time. He is so comical but such an emotional character. It was great to see a reversal in this movie where the male character wants to move forward in gteh relationship however the female character doesn't. The leaning and accepting of different cultures, faiths and traditions. 

The Punjabi boy getting with the Bengali girl shows the contrast of how different two faiths are in one country. That they can be so different yet there can be some similarities. That language barriers can be broke down if you really want to be with that person. The contrast of a wealthy boy and a young girl whose family are comfortable. How she isn't use to the way he does things in his house and he isn't use to the way things are done in her house. 

It touches and highlights issues that women face daily with the way men talk to them, disrespect them, sexualise them. Men just get to be these dominant people who just control women and use them as puppeteers. It shows generational changes and how we can change the way we think, the way we behave. There is no age limit for these types of changes it is just down to the person and if they are willing to make these changes. 

I don't want to ruin it for anyone if you haven't seen it yet. And if you haven't seen it then you need to get yourself to the cinema and watch it. You will laugh so much that your stomach will hurt, you will cry of sadness but joy. You will anger but also feel liberated! To be honest you will feel so much and it will be the best feeling! 

This movie for is a 10/10 and honestly I wish they would start making more movies like this moving forward! 

Materialistic People

 Materialistic people are actually the worst! Look do not get me wrong, I like my designer and nice things as much as the next person but the older you get the more you realise actually how much hard work goes in to these nice things. I am not going to divulge on a public platform my finances but let's just say that if I wanted to go on a mad shopping spree it could happen. However it wouldn't happen because firstly my husband is very stingy and secondly we have other things to prioritise before I start to go on my mad shopping spree.

My readers who actually take their time to read this are probably thinking oh its a house. They need to get a house well yeah it is that but also life is so damn expensive at the moment. It's like you open your eyes in the morning and it costs you. You take your first breath in the morning and it cost you. People who act like this cost of living isn't affecting them are kidding themselves and everyone around them. It is so easy to put a facade on that stuff doesn't get to you by getting all the materialistic things in the world but ultimately it is getting to everyone. 

I really hate people who will only talk or acknowledge your presence if you're driving the most fancy car or have a million pound house which is worthy in their eyes. It's like these things don't make you a person, in fact it's more interesting to see how you would be without the facade of materialist elements. 

I think that everyone aren't going to get along but you should respect each other without worrying how much they have in their bank account. Because frankly you truly don't know how much they have, a person could be dripped out in all designer and have nothing in their account. Compared to a person who may just have basic clothes on and have millions in their account. Appearances don't always necessarily deem someone's bank balance or assets value! 

When you are younger all you care about is appearances and you want the latest trends of fashion but you don't always want to acknowledge at what cost they come at. As you get older things start to take priority and other things become more important then the latest trends. People who just have an interest to communicate with you because they think you add some value to their lives aren't really people worth having around I guess. 

It's like I said in my previous blog post that you need to control your narrative and that includes the people that you add in to your life. You want to have people in your life that add value and make life more fun. Not people that you constantly have to keep impressing but that is now what the expectation is! 

Your Narrative

You know what I have been thinking a lot and probably thinking about writing every day but something always stops me. Today I have found that motivation I have been looking for! I don't know if it will be a really long post or a few short ones but put it this way my fingers were itching to get on the Mac and starting typing away. 

Recently things have been happening and they are starting to put things in to perspective for me. I am very loud about mental health and an advocate for counselling. I started therapy at the beginning of this year and it didn't work out the way I thought. I started work and thought to myself I should utilise the therapist that we have at work. I didn't do it because shit was bad, I started talking to her because I felt lost. We had six sessions and the perspective I have gained from those sessions has been so enlightening. It feels like the 'old Nav' inside of me has woken up. She is trying to break through from this mould that has been created by others for the type of person I should be. 

One realisation out of the many that I have had is that no one can change your narrative of your life story. They can try and they can try to acknowledge that you didn't do something or you didn't do it the way that you thought but ultimately they can't actually take the truth away from you. Recently so many people have said things to me and I stop think about it. I think to myself why are you trying to change my narrative to make yours look better? 

I look back at my life and I think I have been through a lot. I have experienced a lot some of it good and some of it bad. But at the end of it all I am Still Standing! It is like people forget that you have done something that has some sort of link to their life. It is as if they need to make you look in a bad light to make themeless and others look good. 

When this use to happen to me I would let them change the narrative or perhaps even just dismiss what they were saying because I couldn't be bothered with the fact that people would use me and my life situations to make themselves look good. But now I am like, you can't do that. You can't take my narrative away from me to make yourself or others be good around you. 

I guess as life goes on and you get older you kinda realise what is important? Who is important? And why it is important? 

I guess no matter what happens you shouldn't ever lose your narrative! its your life story and you need to make sure your life is told the way you know it and not the way someone else wants you to! 

The unexpected parts of life Grief...

 Grief is so consuming and it creeps up on when you least expect. Like life is so unpredictable so is death we don’t see it coming but it just happens so quickly. It comes so unexpectedly and takes over everything that we know. I haven’t written in a while and truth be told it is hard to think of what to write but sometimes things just happen in life that need to be written down. 

I have heard of so many people passing this year and each passing that I have found out has shocked me because each death was so unexpected. It is already May and I have been to two funerals that have just been so hard to attend. Yesterday I didn’t know what to expect but I didn’t expect to cry as much as I did, I didn’t expect to feel so much sadness since I had heard about my husbands Pua (aunt) passing it has been so hard to process. I know that someone would expect to be like she is my husbands real aunt but to be honest in our cultural every close relative whether they are related or not are made in to a relationship. Those relationships become so close that when something happens whether that is sickness or even death it just shocks you so much.

 

These two funerals have been so hard, hearing about people passing has been so hard. You want to be there for the family but sometimes you don’t know how to be. You don’t know the right things to say or perhaps even do. You sit at the funerals just watching the families and it makes you start to think about your own family the passing of your family members. It brings back so much and the grief from all that just over washes you.

 

I think its just so crazy how one day someone is with you laughing and joking then next moment they aren’t. This is a deep thought for a Friday but the past two weeks have been so rough that I guess I hadn’t realised how much it would’ve affected me. It was hard to process but now that we have laid her to rest and I know she is getting peace it makes things feel abit more calmer. The pain doesn’t ever go but you just find a way to deal with it and live on with their memory. 

End of a Decade.. Bye Bye 20's

 Today is my last official day of being in my 20's and tomorrow I turn the ripe old age of 30 years old. I share everything with you wonderful readers so am going to share this pivotal moment in my life too. Recently I have really been thinking about the last 10 years and everything that has been achieved in my 20's. 

When I turned 20 honestly it was amazing and the beginning of my 20's was incredible. I experienced so much of life. I finished education as soon as I came in to my 20's and that was such a pivotal moment. It was like all my life I had spent in education, there was that routine of getting up and learning to then just floating and trying to find my feet. Let me tell you that I still haven't found my feet, I am still guessing myself as to where I want to work, what career would I like? Where do I see my life path going? When I was younger I thought that I would have my life figured out by the time I was in my late 20s and now I am out of that I still don't feel like I have anything figured out at all. 

20 year old of me would of been so scared that I didn't have my life together at this age but honestly I am actually so happy to be embracing my 30's. I actually am so excited for the things that I have been planned and for the future ideas that I have brewing. I pray that they all fortify and become in to something so amazing. 

I thought that when you hit your 30s that your life would all be figured out but it is not and let me tell you something it never is. Even people who look like they have life figured out they actually don't they just let on that they do. So advice I would give to my younger self is don't freak out, plans don't always work out but everything and I mean everything happens for a reason. 

So here are the top 29 things that have happened or I have learned in my 20's: 

1. I went to a private university and obtained a degree in just under 2 years instead of 3. 
2. I met one of my best friends at university and ten years later we are still as close as ever. 
3. I got married which was an experience in itself. 
4. I put myself out there and started making my self more present on social media. 
5. I learned that grief can really shape the type of person you are.
6. That true family and friends will stick with you no matter what happens in life. 
7. I got my first tattoo. 
8. I dyed my hair blonde and loved every minute of it. 
9. I went to so many festivals and concerts. 
10. Travelled to Australia, Bali, Canada, India and that is just the start of my travel journey. 
11. Met so many people some who changed my life and others who made me learn a lot 
12. Went on some great road trips with my bestie and friends 
13. Learned how important my health really is when it constantly was turning point for me as the years went by 
14. Had many firsts, got my first job, first experience of finding love, first experience of learning to be by myself 
15. Putting my social media content out there for everyone to see and actually gaining positive feedback 
16. Got my wonderful car the a BMW 1 series and haven't ever been able to replace it since its been gone. 
17. I had so much fun interning at a magazine and if I could do it again I would in a heartbeat 
18. Went to India and worked which was an experience in a good and bad way but all worth it 
19. Went to see so many new places in England that I never would've before (thank you Covid) 
20. Gained some new family and friends along the way that are here for life. 
21. Saw Michael McIntyre live and was on TV 
22. Played so much mini golf and honestly getting better at it 
23. Went to see so many zoos, day trips 
24. Went to Royal Ascot for the first time ever 
25. Learnt so much about traditions at weddings due to my in-laws having at least minimum 3 wedding a year that has a lot of preparation in to them 
26. Went Winter Wonderland so many times from 20 years old - to present 
27. Went to The Ritz for Afternoon Tea 
28. Went to the Shard endless times 
29. Went to a chiropractor which was a first! 

That list was a lot harder than I had anticipated and to be honest I have probably missed out so much but a decade is really hard to cover in one blog post. But here it is my last ten years in a nutshell. 

Here are some pics to showcase the fun that I have been having: 

Mental Health & Me

 The hardest part of anything in life is accepting that something isn’t right. I don’t write these blog posts to get sympathy or for people to know my situation. I write them to create awareness of illnesses, mental health & issues within our South Asian community. 

So you’re probably thinking where the hell is she is going with this blog post. Well this one is around mental health, one thing that is so neglected in all areas of life. I’ve been feeling pretty low for majority of this year but I kept finding something positive or “something good” that would happen that would brighten up my mood. However that’s not happened in the last 3 months or so. I had an operation in my inner leg to remove a very large absecess and that hospital  experience was so horrific I still feel like I am suffering from some form of PTSD. I had three days of just being bounced from one doctor to another at the hospital. To then a doctor telling me I didn’t know what I was doing or talking about. They gave me such strong drugs I was throwing up as soon as I came out of the operating theatre and that’s not even the most of it. It was so horrible that I actually just broke down in the hospital & self discharged myself. Which was probably the best thing I could. This operation meant going to the doctors three times a week to get my bandage changed. As the wound was open, the risk of infection was high along with my diabetes I had to be monitored regularly. It was probably the hardest time in my life because I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t walk properly at the beginning, showers were a no go. I had to rely on family members to help me out to do basic things. I knew I wasn’t myself because I was already low, but then my nurse started to ask the right questions which then alerted a lot of things in myself regarding my feelings. 

She then put me in touch with a well-being officer who straight away put me in touch with a therapy group. I couldn’t break out of this funk I was feeling. As soon as I started talking to the therapist they diagnosed me with depression, severe anxiety & low self esteem/ low mood. The things they were saying made so much sense to me. I felt like finally someone understood me. It didn’t surprise me when that was the diagnoses because the whole operation was so stressful that I just couldn’t think about anything else but my leg. Plus it came at such an inconvinent time not that there ever is a good time for this stuff. I had my brother in laws wedding to think about at the end of October.  I cried at the doctors leading up to his wedding. I was like please let this leg heal so that I can enjoy myself. That I can be me again. Because feeling like me hadn’t happened for such a long time. My leg was probably 60% healed at the wedding but I don’t know how I did it maybe it was aderaline & determination but I powered through that wedding. I had showers like normal, I got dressed up, I made sure everyone was catered for. I had a smile on my face.  But even through those happy days my dark cloud was still hanging over me. And during the wedding me and husband got some bad news. That just broke me. I won’t ever forget sitting in that hotel room and crying. Crying as if everything I had in me, all the hurt & pain just came out. I couldn’t handle life anymore at that moment, but my husband calmed me down. We spoke about it and put all our attention to the wedding. It was our last family wedding in the Kang household, I had to be present & happy. It’s so hard sometimes to be 100% happy when inside all you want to do is curl up in a dark room. 

The last few months have tough, and to be honest I don’t know how I’ve got through them or am getting through them. I’ve spoken to some family members as I feel like I lost my faith in my religion. I felt like I needed to speak to someone who was devoted to the religion to understand how did they do it. When they felt so low how did they find their faith if they ever lost it. I’ve reached out to my friend because I wanted her to understand why I’ve been so closed off.

I think it’s so important to inform those you love why you are the way you are. Writing is a big part of who I am and a big part of my healing journey. It’s been a long time since I’ve written like this and I don’t know why but I just had this urge to write how I am feeling & share it. My illness won’t stop, I live with chronic ones so they are for life. But sometimes it becomes too much, when you spend the best part of your day in bed because your trying to fight of a simple stomach bug or a fever or anything, the darkness of it all consumes you. 

I just feel like if you are suffering from anything please don’t think you’re alone for even one second. There is someone out there who loves you and will help you. I know I’ve got a long road, even though my leg is healed my demons haven’t completely left. But that’s because life is complicated, it changes, people who thought we were so close to leave. And sometimes there gaps in life can’t be filled but we have to find the right coping mechanism for ourselves. 

Also put yourself first because no one else. And always no matter what be kind you don’t know anyone’s story no matter how much they share. 

Operations Suck

I have a written the opening to this blog like three times. For some reason I can't find the words to what I want to say. The last few weeks have been really tough but it is not only the last few weeks the last few months have been tough. I feel like I met my breaking point at the end of August and to be honest it is taking me a long time to get my head around things. 

So at the end of August I found a massive lump inside my left thigh. I kinda ignored it as I thought it would just go away by itself but it didn't. We had a paath (prayer) in Coventry that weekend and I just powered though. My leg would be killing and I wouldn't even be able to have a shower because it was so painful. It was bank holiday Monday so I couldn't get a doctors appointment but come Tuesday I got an emergency appointment. The doctor wasn't very helpful she was like I think it could be a boil or abscess so you can either take the antibiotics or go hospital. I opted for the antibiotics. I took the antibiotics for 48 hours and within that time my leg was letting puss out and blood out. I put a big dressing on it but the puss and stuff wouldn't stop coming out. My mum was like you don't look right, the colour was draining from my face so we had to call out an ambulance. The paramedics thought I may have sepsis so they call ahead and informed the hospital that I was coming. When I got to the hospital I had to wait awhile for a bead and then they put me in a bay. They took my bloods and hooked an IV to my arm with antibiotics just in case I did have sepsis. I got to the hospital at 7.15pm and they didn't come back to me until 10.30pm to tell me that I didn't have sepsis but that the abscess would need to be removed. The first doctor that came told me she could drain it there and then but would need a second opioion. The second doctor was like nope they can't do it they would need a surgeon to remove it. I then had to wait for the surgeon who said that he wouldn't do it now but would look at doing it in the morning and that I couldn't eat anything after 1am. So at this point its 11.15pm and my last meal was at 2pm. I was starving, I wanted to go home and honestly I didn't feel like I was getting anywhere with the hospital. They booked everything in and told me to come back around 6am. I came home just before midnight and ate my dinner quickly went to bed. 

The next morning the day of mine and my husband's 5th Wedding anniversary we woke up and ventured to the hospital at 6.30am. We both were so tired and so hungry but honestly we just wanted it over and done with. I was told to wait in the A&E waiting area and the chairs were so uncomfortable. I waited for like 2 hours and no one called out my name. I went to the girl and receptionist and explained to her that I was told my surgery was going to be in the morning but no one has come to see me. She went to find out and it turned out that I was moved out general surgery to orthopedic and that a doctor from that department will come to see me. That doctor did not come to see me until lunchtime and that was to inform me he needed to speak to the surgeon so that they could decide if my surgery was going to be done today and also there plan of action. He was like bear with me for like 30 mins and I will be back. That man disappeared for 2 hours and then he came back with the surgeon. The surgeon had a look at it and told me what they would have to do and if they could do it today or not. At this point it has been like 13 hours since both me and my husband have eaten. And as a diabetic that is really risky and dangerous. I couldn't even drink water because they were like we may do your surgery today. After another 2 hours of waiting a nurse called me and they put another cannula in my arm because they thought I was going to have surgery. It turns out that I couldn't have surgery that evening and that I could go home and come back in the morning. We left the hospital around 4.30pm/5ish and honestly I was exhausted. I didn't even think that I could go back another day but I had to get this fixed. I munched so much food as I was so hungry. I went to my cousins house as it was my nieces 18th Birthday Party and I wanted to be with my family. My husband stayed at home and went to sleep as we were both so exhausted. 

The next day I was going to give up but my husband was like let's go and let's get this fixed. We went to at around 7am and the doctor who I spoke to the day before was coming in for his shift around 8am. By 9 am the doctor came to see me and he got me all set up in a room. The surgeon came to see me and it was different one from the day before. She again told me what she was going to do and what would happen after the surgery. They found me a bed and within thirty minutes I was on a ward. I was told that my surgery was going to be at 1.30pm I was trying not to get my hopes but I was really tired of waiting around. At 1.30pm they told me that it had been pushed to 6pm. I was getting really fed up and hungry. My husband called my sister and she dropped off some food for him because he was like one day of starving was enough. I waited all afternoon and my arm was killing from the cannula and all the IV drips they had me hooked to. They had me on sliding scale for my insulin as my blood sugar was creeping up. I finally got taken to surgery at 7pm and spoke to the anaesthesia they were like you need to stay awake. I had so much anxiety going in to the operation because it was such a stressful experience getting there. Around 9pm I woke up in the recovery room and I felt so trapped in my body. All I remember is crying and shouting, the nurse and doctor comforted me told me where I was and then I calmed down. They gave me fentanyl and codeine for the pain which made me feel horrible. Going back to the ward was so horrible because my head of spinning. As soon as I got back to the ward I started throwing up because I hadn't eaten and had these horrible drugs. There was a lovely lady on my ward who gave me a banana which settled my stomach. I was so tired I just wanted to sleep but they kept checking up on me every hour. Around 1am I was so desperate for the toilet and a nurse came to help me. That's when I realised the size of the bandage it was massive. I then woken up at around 7am and my husband came by 9am. As that is when visiting hours opened. The surgeon came to see me and basically was like you should stay in the hospital so that we can hook you up to an IV drip and was giving me such extreme measures of what could happen to my leg. I was like I can't stay here, like its been such a horrible experience and now you are adding things that don't need to be added. 

I finally discharged myself, took my antibiotics home and was told that I could just go and see my GP for the dressing change which I preferred. As soon as I was home, I didn't do anything for 7 days for a number reasons the main one being that the bandage was so big I couldn't even wear pants only shorts. When I went to the doctor after the 7 days they were shocked at home much packing they had put in the wound. The wound was open and that was the only way it could heal. It had so much depth to it and so much width to it, I got my mum to see and she as like it looks like lips. So from that point until last week I was at the doctors three times a week. This is the first week where I am going twice and there is less packing and the wound has gone a lot smaller. But I still have the bandage and I still get very tired if too much friction happens to it. So I am not at the end yet and its been such an ordeal but I am praying and hoping that it heals very soon! 

So that is why I haven't been active on socials, or written any blogs and even made any videos. I just haven't been myself and I am hoping that I get to myself very soon. 

Health always comes first so remember to look after yourself and if something isn't right then defiantly get it checked out!