Grief is so consuming and it creeps up on when you least expect. Like life is so unpredictable so is death we don’t see it coming but it just happens so quickly. It comes so unexpectedly and takes over everything that we know. I haven’t written in a while and truth be told it is hard to think of what to write but sometimes things just happen in life that need to be written down.
I have heard of so many people passing this year and each passing that I have found out has shocked me because each death was so unexpected. It is already May and I have been to two funerals that have just been so hard to attend. Yesterday I didn’t know what to expect but I didn’t expect to cry as much as I did, I didn’t expect to feel so much sadness since I had heard about my husbands Pua (aunt) passing it has been so hard to process. I know that someone would expect to be like she is my husbands real aunt but to be honest in our cultural every close relative whether they are related or not are made in to a relationship. Those relationships become so close that when something happens whether that is sickness or even death it just shocks you so much.
These two funerals have been so hard, hearing about people passing has been so hard. You want to be there for the family but sometimes you don’t know how to be. You don’t know the right things to say or perhaps even do. You sit at the funerals just watching the families and it makes you start to think about your own family the passing of your family members. It brings back so much and the grief from all that just over washes you.
I think its just so crazy how one day someone is with you laughing and joking then next moment they aren’t. This is a deep thought for a Friday but the past two weeks have been so rough that I guess I hadn’t realised how much it would’ve affected me. It was hard to process but now that we have laid her to rest and I know she is getting peace it makes things feel abit more calmer. The pain doesn’t ever go but you just find a way to deal with it and live on with their memory.
