The past 2 weeks I have been so poorly I don’t think I have ever been this sick in my life! Just before Christmas weekend I thought I must have a cold as I had the usual shivers, headaches and tiredness. Then a by some miracle I felt great on Christmas Eve & day, to be honest it much of been all the excitement of the day.
Boxing Day I started to feel a bit crap again and tried to sleep it off. Woke up Wednesday and forced myself to go work. I knew I wasn’t 100% but I pushed through the day. Whilst at work I didn’t eat anything though, it was as if my appetite had gone for that day. Thursday I struggled to keep myself awake & Friday I worked from home but just about managed through the day! The weekend came and that’s when everything just hit me like a ton of bricks. It started off slowly so it would be an ache first, then a dry cough and then a fever! My New Years Eve was me on the sofa in my pj’s sleeping until 11.55pm just so that I could see the NY fireworks as I didn’t want to miss them. On New Years Day I woke up with such a high fever I couldn’t move. And since then it has been high fevers, coughing so much my body is actually aching. My coughing hurts so much I know cough like an old lady just so that I can minimise the pain it causes me. Headaches and body aches feel like I’ve been hit by a bus! The fatigue just doesn’t leave.
I was so lucky that I got a doctors appt on Tuesday and it was my regular GP who spoke to me. Seeing as I have a problem with my lungs and chest already this infection has just multiplied those problems! So she gave me antibiotics which are working but just slowly. I am still having the fever here & there. The cough just doesn’t go and kinda feels like it’s stuck on my chest. The body aches & fatigue are there and taking there time to leave too.
Honestly I don’t think I have ever been this sick that I can’t even do daily tasks like brush my teeth. I have to sit down to brush my teeth. I get so tired just from having a shower it’s amazing how this has wiped me out.
But being ill has been great that I can actually watch movies I’ve never seen before. Catch up on the shows that I’ve been missing because I’m always either working or studying! It’s also gives me a lot of time to think which can be a dangerous thing..
As I said in my previous post this year albeit has started off a bit wobbly has actually already made me start to look at things in ways I never would before. I always bend over backwards to check in with everyone whether it’s family or friends. I do that because I always want to make sure that they are ok but you know what people don’t ever check in with me! I have had messages from my usual family members & friends but the ones that you think they will check in don’t and haven’t. So I’m thinking to myself that I’m going to stop bothering with those people. Why on earth should I be always going out my way to make sure everyone is ok when no one truly cares if I am?!
Checking in doesn’t always mean that the other person wants sympathy for being ill. Your ill and there is nothing you can do about that but just be kind. It’s like you think we are meant to be family or suppose to be anyways and you can’t be bothered to drop a message. It’s amazing how much people will bad mouth your character for being who you are as a nice person but then act nasty themselves!
I think when you’re unwell, or going through stuff your perception of things always changes. Your view on how you see things make you realise who is truly there for you at the end of the day!
I just can’t wait to start to feel like myself again and get out of the house! But for now it’s past my bedtime and that’s enough deep thoughts for one night!
